There's something going on with me, and I'm unsure what it is, but perhaps the best way to describe it would be motivated. Perhaps I'm kicking my own ass, perhaps I'm punishing myself for neglecting the good and wholesome things in my life, or perhaps I'm just fucking bored.
It might be the latter.
Everyday for the last two weeks I've worked out, you know exercise, and trust me it is a alien and cruel thing to subject yourself through. The act of moving your legs rapidly while not being chased or moving yourself towards the glowing beacon of the fridge is a strange thing indeed. But I'm doing it, and doing it well (which I think is song). I'm losing weight, and right off the heels of a break up I've decided to take the post-relationship anxiety and emotional questioning and convert them to a positive data type.
There are many questions I could ask myself, or things I could blame myself for, and learning from my mistakes is definitely still in the cards but these aren't things I'm focused on. With my birthday being next week, and the entirety of my life in question there's a rush to do something and do it now. What exactly? I don't fucking know, IT man IT!
With or without friends as a crutch and with or without family backing me I'll be doing amazing things this year. First on the agenda, get in the best shape of my life. It's not a pipe dream, it's something already being realized. Since dragon con of 2010, I've officially lost 20 pounds. 15 of those pounds were in this last month. In short, this summer I'll be reworking my output while remaining Stiver at the core.
Being considered wasted potential is now making me physically ill. The only remedy is kicking ass.
And when it comes to kicking ass, this aint my first rodeo.
