Next Week Never Comes.

06/15/2011

Days until Con : 78

It's the sad truth. Next week will never come. That's been my experience anyways with promises and proclamations.

Starting next Monday I'll quit smoking.

Starting next week I'll go on a diet.

Next week, exercise and me, it's a date.

Of course next week never really comes. Either you've put too much pressure on the occasion and bomb after the first few days or you forget about it by the weekend. The problem, from my perspective, is that anything you're putting off until next week isn't important enough in your mind to start immediately. There's a voice or metaphorical post-it note that tells your subconscious "don't worry about it, if it were really important you'd done it by now." (in a New York styled taxi voice). So was my thinking up until April of this year. Every week I'd start off by saying, "I need to lose weight, I'll start next week, on Monday, so that way everything starts nice and even." Because Monday is the start of the week, so it's only logical to also make it the start of whatever new life thing you're attempting to implement.

So the weekend leading into Monday, the start of my glorious weight revolution, I proceed to eat the crappiest foods I possibly can. Why? Because I may never see them again. Because I'm a well dressed soldier waving goodbye to my tubby sweetheart as the Rail to Skinnydale leaves the station. (the scene is, of course, black and white with all the appropriate dramatic trimmings).

And just like all those train station scenes, by Wednesday, I yell "Stop the train!" Because I cannot take it, I need BBQ Nachos, I need her real bad.

That mentality just doesn't work. It sounds right when you tell your friends, and it sounds right when you tell yourself, but it just plain doesn't work. At least not for me, and not for most people.

I wrote a line in an epic song about Dancing, and Butts. A line so condensed with common sense I think I'll make it into my personal slogan. 


Every second not rockin, is not rockin at all.


That's what got me into this whole healthy thing. I stopped waiting until next week, I started the moment the thought flew into my mind and I captured the bastard. With like a net. A really strong net. Triple weaved, or whatever is strong for nets. Maybe even a chain linked net.

With that said, I started smoking again because of every reason in the world smokers start back up. Well that's not rockin, and every second not rockin, is not rockin at all. With my awesome weight-loss success I cannot have this blemish on my rock. So I quit. Not next week, not tomorrow, but now.