Day 7

05/01 (morning)

Days until con (recorded 04/30/2011) : 125

Weight at Dragon Con 2010 : 245 - 250 ish

Goal Weight for Dragon Con 2011 : 200

Current Weight (as recorded 04/30/2011 morning)  : 230.1

Work Out (done on 04/30/2011): P90x Phase 1 Day 2

Foods devoured on 04/30/2011:

Slim Fast Candy bar : 100 calories

Massaman Curry (chicken) : 600 Calories

Taco Mac Southwest Chicken Wrap w/tasty mystery Soup : 800 Calories

7 Yuengling lights  : 686 Calories 

Total: 2186 calories

I didn't post this ON 04/30 because, to be frank, I was at a strip club exploring my mojo and didn't get home until...I'm not quite sure. It was purely for research purposes, and I must say I learned a great deal. Here are some basic rules when dealing with strippers.

1. They don't really like you that much, and you're not that interesting. You didn't suddenly turn into Eddie Izzard, she's laughing at your cheese-crap jokes because she wants your wad. Of money.

2. The story they give you about their life is false, you're better off just making one up yourself and telling it to her. They're all going to school for Psychology, ride motorcycles, love football (insert her favoriate team), play the guitar, want to be an actress, dream of professional dancing, not to mention researching green energy options to better the world?  

That's bullshit Midnight Raven LadyHawk or whatever your name is, you inspire to get money and you blow that money on things that everyone blows their money on. Only you add cocaine to your shopping list. This isn't a pageant, this is a lap dance so at least tell me something I haven't heard before, like you're a space marine deep undercover to catch a hot GoGo Girl Alien.

Now that is what I'm talking about!

I do believe the bit about going to college, good luck and hope you stick with it.

3. Valet parking at a strip club is like a drink coaster to tidy up your prison cell. 

4. If a stripper does like you, you don't pay and you get to guard their butt towel.

5. You have to order a cup of water three times, because the first couple of times they think you're fucking with them. Then you spend the rest of the night trying to convince them it's just water.

Basically don't bother.

Anyways, that's what I learned today. I'm very tired and hung over, and I have to work. Nothing else to report.